Yes, that's right, it's nearly time to go home.
Before I arrived in Australia, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I remember sitting in the car on the way to the airport thinking about what the next few months would be like. Not for the first time in my life, I was at a complete loss. I'd felt this way before my first flight to Wisconsin to begin my university career: full of anticipation, curious, a little scared, mostly excited. Except this time I was headed toward an entirely different country with different people from all different cultures and world perspectives.
When I landed in Perth and was in the car to my cousin's house, I was struck by the strange vegetation, and I was terrified when we veered left at a roundabout for the first time.
When I arrived at Murdoch in the student village, I anxiously paced around my room because I had no phone and no wifi connection and knew nobody in my flat and wondered if I'd ever feel comfortable in this strange new place where I didn't have any friends.
The first few weeks I felt very alone and a little confused and lost about everything because it was all so much to adapt to all of a sudden.
For that first while, I didn't know that I would meet the most amazing, unique, fun, wonderful people from many different states and countries. I didn't know I would come to love so much about the culture and landscape here. I didn't know how much perspective I would gain about the environment and how we use it. I didn't know I would learn the things I have come to realize about myself as a person, and I certainly would not have been able to guess how much potential for change within myself that I had.
Tomorrow I'm leaving the student village, and on Monday night I will depart Perth. I do not know when I'll ever get the chance to come back, but I know I would like to one day and definitely will return. Perth is so vastly different from every other place in the world I have been, and yet it has become familiar to me in the past few months. It has become home.
I've been thinking recently about how home isn't just one thing, one specific place, to anybody. Sure, you live in a house, but your home can be anything. It could be the house or apartment you sleep at every night, it could be where your family is, it could be a person or group of friends, or it could be a place you've explored and feel some sense of familiarity, some comfort.
That's all that it is: a space in the world where you feel like you belong. I never thought I would make a home for myself here. Of course I figured I'd grow to like it, but here in Perth I have created a little niche in the big big world for myself, with the friends I have met and grown to love. I've become a local.
These past few weeks have been especially difficult for me as I've come to terms with the fact that I'm leaving my newfound home soon. As I've mentioned before, Perth is a relatively laid-back place where the people are all about "no worries" and taking things as they come. I have not had much anxiety while I've been here, and I have gotten along on friendly terms with many more people than I have anywhere else. The university life is much more lenient than that at UW-Madison or anywhere in the States, I think, and yet it's all about what you choose to put into the class that determines your final grades. There's something here for everybody, whether you like the city area or if you prefer the outdoors or the beach bum life. You can live a quiet life or you can go out for the nightlife. There's not very much pressure to be better than everybody else; it's more about egalitarianism. You can go for weeks here without hugely bad things happening on the news, and most of the bad news I ever got was related to America or other countries.
Apart from the place itself, the people I've met here are the hardest to let go of. Maybe it's been a combination of my evolving personality and the open friendliness of the area itself, but I have made more friends here than I ever expected I would. We have grown close through shared travel experiences, similar interests and personalities and senses of humor, mutual quirkiness, tough school assignments and annoying lecturers, and most importantly lots and lots (and lots) of laughter together. And now it's time to march forth as we all part ways and continue on with our separate lives.
Or maybe our lives won't be as separate as we think. I know I may never see or talk to some people again. Others I may speak to a couple times over the internet, and then we'll drift apart. And with some I may visit them or they'll visit me, and we'll keep talking over the internet and phone and stay updated on each other's lives and maintain our lifelong friendships. It won't be quite the same as it's been here, but that's okay.
I take comfort in the fact that I made these beautiful memories and shared bonds, and I will never forget the people I've had the honor and privilege of spending time with here. After all, I could not possibly forget laughing until I was literally on the floor; getting lost with while trying to navigate around a new place; making granola balls in my room and spilling honey and muesli all over the floor; snorkeling and learning how to swim for the first time; eating more Aussie sweets and snacks than can probably be deemed healthy; convincing each other to buy stuff we didn't need; grocery shopping and struggling to carry it all back home; lying in bed and listening to music for hours and just talking; trekking across an entire country; convincing somebody to drive us to McDonald's at 1am; eating meals together and talking for hours; watching ridiculous YouTube videos together; whizzing through the streets of Perth on a motorcycle; riding the bus and train and arguing about the best routes; yelling in frustration when the bus was late; agonizing over a ridiculous midterm; bothering and perplexing Paul in the CIEE office; getting hit on by a stranger in the Perth Underground; falling/slipping humiliatingly on the ground (numerous times); living in the same flat and getting up to the most normal yet strange shenanigans; walking along the beach side by side; seeing the sunset while eating biscuits; learning and imitating Australian accents and phrases; having inside jokes that nobody else will really understand; and exploring an entirely new frontier, whether that frontier be ourselves as people or an entirely different culture.
It is because I know the time I spent in Australia was valuable and full of fun and laughter and love that I am able to leave without any regrets. I am deeply sad to go, but that sadness will dissipate and fade to a dull occasional feeling of homesickness once in a while, and I know I can manage that just fine. Because indeed, this is home to me now, and I think it's a beautiful thing that I'm traveling from one home to another, and that this isn't goodbye. It's just a "see ya later." We're lucky to live in a world that's growing increasingly smaller, and I'm honored to have been a part of making the world smaller these past few months through the connections I've made.
If anybody else is reading this who feels sad about the end of the semester as well, I wrote a little poem that I think is very appropriate and I hope you take comfort from it as I did when I first wrote it:
Clouds hang like marionettes in the sky
A well-behaved flock in a pasture of blue
Now I want to assure myself as well as you
That this is not goodbye.
This will not be our last laugh
These need not be our final words
This must not be a time to cry
For this is not goodbye.
The clouds go away and so must I
Off to better (or worse) times they fly
We never know what the skies ahead bring
But fear not, grieve not, for this is not goodbye.
So, to my dear friends who are going home like me, safe travels and I wish you all the best as we carry on in our lives. To the friends staying in Australia, I hope to one day visit again and I hope you may get to visit the U.S. too. And to everybody that I love, thank you for being in my life and for helping me to live the best possible life. I will forever cherish the good times we've had Down Under and look forward to more good times in the future.
Until next time!
~ JP
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