Back from my unofficial hiatus!

I'm late to the party, but happy new year to all! I haven't posted in a really long time, and I doubt anybody missed my blog posts (who am I kidding?) but I did feel bad for neglecting the blog. So why didn't I just grit my teeth and post stuff? I guess we'll try to answer that question here.
This past semester back at UW-Madison was an interesting one, and a lot happened but also not much happened. Does that make sense? Let's pretend it does.

It was a transitional period for me. Studying abroad in Australia was really life-altering and I developed many aspects of my personality and thought patterns there. I formed new habits and learned a lot about myself. So, coming back to UW-Madison meant I had to reintegrate myself into life here. It was hard and I found myself resisting this change a lot, simply because I liked what I had back in Aus.
That being said, it was especially hard for me to write anything that wouldn't be overly depressing and angsty to post on my blog. Fall semesters always seem to be pretty rough for me. This semester I didn't struggle too much with my social anxiety, but rather had more symptoms attributed with depression. I was sad a lot, and I missed my friends that I'd made in Aus. But also I was just really tired and found it hard to get excited about things. It was hard to convince myself to get up many mornings, wondering what the point of me doing all this stuff was. Luckily, I have really wonderful friends who helped reason with me and remind me of the good things in life, and/or stuck it out with me through the hard days and nights. I know there will be more of those moments but it isn't as scary knowing I have people who care and support me.

On a more uplifting note, I've made new friends by joining a couple of student orgs that were some of the best decisions I could have made! I joined the Choi Tae Kwon Do club of UW-Madison and went from not knowing anything about martial arts (except for the many Jackie Chan movies I watched as a kid) to now being a yellow belt. The people of the club are so wonderfully supportive and fun to be around, and I have gained great insights from training with them. I encourage anybody interested in trying something new to just step out of their comfort zone and do it. You never know what you might find; I went into TKD hoping to better myself physically, and have learned that it isn't just about the physical, but also the mental. And it isn't about "bettering" yourself, it's about discovery, expansion, and awareness; finding the focus and power within yourself rather than creating it or forcing it.
The other org I joined was WUD Music. I have always loved finding new music to listen to and I spend more time on Spotify listening to music, curating playlists, and following artists than I care to admit. So, when I found out there was a super cool bunch of people who do the same AND who get to book artists they like to come perform at UW-Madison for free? You bet I leaped at the opportunity.

I also applied and was accepted for an extremely fantastic internship for this summer, which I'm very excited about. I'm not being super shouty about it simply because there are still some aspects that need to be confirmed, logistically, so I won't find out if I'm actually going to be partaking in it yet. But trust me when I say it is a really neat opportunity that will surely set me on a clearer career path in terms of knowing what I want for myself as a future scientist.

I'm looking forward to this next semester to finish out my junior year of college. It is really hard to take in the fact that I am over halfway done with my bachelor's degree. The future is scary. The present is scary too, sometimes. Here's a comforting thought, though, if you're like me and are slightly mortified by what the future may hold for you after college: life isn't linear. 

Something else I have been thinking about a lot is that the best thing we can do right here, right now, is to just live. I do so much worrying about stuff in the past and stuff I may find in the future, and I forget to enjoy the moment for what it is and appreciate what I'm doing right this very moment. So, as a new semester goal, I want to be more appreciative, and I pass this challenge on to you as well. Don't take the little things for granted, and take a moment every so often to reflect on the people in your life, the things you do, and the things you like about the world and yourself. Don't be afraid to let people know you appreciate them, whether it is a friend who has helped you through a bad day or if it is a nice barista or if it is a stranger on the street whose outfit absolutely rocks. Let them know. We could all use a morale booster like that sometimes, I think.

I'll end this and post it now, since I started writing it and then forgot about it a couple days ago...I figure this blog has waited long enough for me to make a new post.
Here is to a new semester with good things waiting to happen, and here's also to me hopefully blogging more. :)

Until next time!
~ JP

The Bread Makes the Toast

As I write the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my mind lately, I am debating whether or not to post this on my blog. I'm not sure whether this will be some sort of pessimistic incoherent rant or if it'll end up as some sort of self-pep-talk, but I'll write it out anyway and see how it goes.

I would like to preface this by saying that I may end up sounding like a pretentious cynical hipster with a cup of fair-trade coffee in my hands saying "I'm not like the other girls; I'm weird." I genuinely don't mean to seem this way. Or maybe I am being pretentious and reading too deeply into things. Well, then, I guess that's the way it goes. I won't fight it.

Anyway.

Pop culture influences a lot of things. The food trends, fashion styles, attitudes, and turns of phrase we see and hear in the media have a huge impact on the way we behave and perceive the world around us. I don't really know if that can be controlled; it's just the way things are, by human nature. But I don't like the way it makes some of us act. 

See, there's always been a push to be weird, to be different, to be uniquely you. And everyone I know probably believes in this idea, and they probably believe that they're pretty weird. Which is true. But you know what else is true? People crave attention and recognition. Everybody to some degree wants to be acknowledged. Sometimes the way to do that is by being what they think is "normal." In other words, they follow the trends of society. And the weirdness gets squashed a little bit. Some people are content with being "normal" and doing what everyone else is doing; some people feel repressed by it. I can't speak for everybody, but it is tempting to want to be like the majority of society. It's easier to shop for clothes that way. You fit in easier, you don't have to feel so tired and afraid of rejection. I want to be accepted, and I want to be seen as "normal." Yet filtering the things I say and the way I act is really tiring and to be quite honest, it's boring. 

I like telling people the random stuff that pops into my head, and I think it's fun to ask thought-provoking questions that make you think a little, whether it's more philosophical or it's a strange "would you rather" question. I like knowing that I'm not just doing something because that's what's expected of me.

To me, it looks as if weirdness is becoming increasingly accepted and praised in our culture, which I'm glad to see. But is that a trend too? If everyone skews toward being unique in a certain way, won't that just render them normal all over again when more and more people follow their footsteps? Does it not work this way? Am I reading too deeply into everything? Maybe you're thinking, "oh my gosh June. Just live your life, who cares!!" 

Perhaps it's no use wondering these things. Perhaps it will help me think about the way I act and how I can strive to be a more nuanced and conscious individual.

No matter how much or how little you conform to mainstream society's standards, there will usually be little quirks that make you unique. Things that make you weird. And I think weird is a relative term as well, depending on the person and their eclectic tendencies. Sometimes when I ramble on about something that I think is a pretty normal thing to think about, a friend will look at me funny and say that's a strange thing to be wondering. Sometimes people will tell me stories that they think are important or funny and halfway through I think "this is the most boring thing I've ever heard." So weird and normal are subjective.

Maybe all these thoughts I'm spewing are really useless, if weird is relative and everybody is weird in their own way. In that case, I really believe in the value of being an unfiltered version of you. That doesn't mean you should follow through on distasteful and potentially illegal actions that cross your mind, but you should never be afraid of yourself. Speak your mind when the time is right. Don't be afraid that your humor/thoughts/opinions won't make sense to somebody else, because if it all makes sense to you, then it is valid. Whether they think so or not, that's their problem. It's your truth, not theirs.

"You do you" is something I hear a lot now. We say it, but we still feel self-conscious of doing what feels right for us. A lot of the time I'll think of an outfit to wear and wonder if it's "normal" enough that it'll stand out, making me look good and without making me look like a crazy person. That's problematic in itself, because what does a "crazy person" even look like? What has society taught us to think when we think the word "crazy?" I shouldn't care if my fashion sense doesn't match the rest of the general public. But I do, a little bit. You probably do, too.

Screens are everywhere we look and they're the main source of information that we have nowadays. From tv ads to social media on the internet, there are ideas and opinions and mindsets getting shoved down our throats. Some of it is meaningless, meant to be some mindless distraction to numb our brains (don't get me wrong, I like sitting back and watching a frivolous, lighthearted series or movie occasionally too). Some of it is thought-provoking, but whether these are good or bad thoughts...I don't know. Before I start sounding like some anti-media conspiracy theorist: the Internet is incredible. But it can be so incredibly toxic. Everyone can upload whatever they want, which is inherently both beautiful and ugly. Many of us realize this as we mature and learn to think for ourselves (at least, most of us end up thinking for ourselves), so what I'm saying seems needless to mention. But for young people and those easily influenced, I am very afraid. I've seen TV commercials that depict a non-cool, geeky kid longing to be just like the other kids, but are unable to be because they're not wearing the right thing or they don't have a certain kind of toy or lunchbox snack. Advertisements have always been this way; they force us to look at ourselves and question whether we are enough. It's their literal purpose, and we can't blame businesses for wanting to sell their products. However, according to all these marketing ploys: we are not enough. We always need something else, something more. The media can make us forget the difference between a need or a want; whether it is to appease us, or if it is to bring us joy. Don't get me wrong, I'm seeing lots of people getting more into the mindset of having experiences rather than possessions to make you happy (the act of pursuing and acquiring "experiences" can also become commodified but that's a problem for another blog post), which is great; I still think that the majority of society is far from healthy in its overall mindset regarding these matters, though.

 

Another example of toxic media: Makeup culture. Makeup is a huge deal and I'm seeing young teenage girls (sometimes they aren't even teens yet) spend tons of money on makeup and doing up their faces so they look beautiful. Correction: so that they look like what mainstream society tells them is "beautiful." Don't get me wrong, if makeup makes you happy then by all means: you do you, right? But I worry for these young individuals' state of mind. Are they putting so much effort into all this because looking nice gives them joy, or because they feel like it's just something they should do to be respected and idolized? Is it a mixture of both? Am I being cynical again? Do I care too much about whether or not these young people care more about improving their outside appearance rather than working toward reaching their inner potential as individuals? 

But this is something I struggle with, too. Not about makeup, but about body hair. I've realized that if people are actually decent human beings, they won't give a hoot whether my legs are hairy (shoutout to anyone who's ever actually seen my legs at their hairiest and still think I'm rad. you know who you are). But that doesn't stop me from hesitating and staring at myself for a few seconds before leaving the house with shorts or a dress on if I haven't recently shaved/waxed. Sometimes I say "screw it" and go; sometimes I sigh and put on some long pants. I hate feeling like that and I hate when I give in and shave not because I enjoy the feeling of hairless legs but because I felt pressured by the silent, toxic gaze of society. So I don't blame people for continuing to shave or heavily using makeup or dressing a certain way. However, I ask you this as a reader: what can we do about a problem like this? How do you work to reverse a concept that has been so deeply ingrained within everyone's minds? 

I am of the opinion that it's the bread that makes the toast. It doesn't matter what sort of high-quality butter or jam or honey that you slather on your toast. It could look great. Looks provide a first impression, but as for their accuracy we can never be sure. What it comes down to is what you taste when you bite into the toast. Sure, you taste the sweet jam at first, but the more bites you take you'll soon realize that if the bread is garbage, the whole thing simply won't be good. I wish young children were taught that before they grow up and realize they hate themselves for seemingly no reason. They should be taught to value themselves and each other for who they are, not just by what they do and look like. I wish we as a society taught and nurtured self-love from an early age, to teach that it's okay to be yourself and like a variety of things and look a certain way and to simply be a multifaceted individual. Not to follow the rest of the flock just because that's what everybody else is doing. 

Basically what I think I'm trying to say is that we should teach kids to be multigrain bread, not plain white bread! White bread is bad for you anyways. Clogs the arteries or something.

In the end, we're all alone and walking our own paths. This sounds depressing and cynical, but even if you've got a best friend or significant other with whom you do everything, you two aren't the same exact person. You've got unique experiences and personality traits and needs and wants that naturally set you on a different route. Don't believe the sappy romances. Everybody will leave you eventually, whether it is temporary or permanent, willingly or not. At the end of the day, you've only got yourself to console and to be consoled. You must be able to be alone with yourself. Might you feel lonely after a while? Absolutely, and that's okay. It's so important then to love who you are, and if you aren't there yet (it's okay, lots of people don't fully love themselves--myself included, no matter how many times I say I love myself) then just accept the way you are. Accept the way you feel, and understand why you feel that way, so you can work toward changing for the better, always. Because one day you'll find yourself alone even if just for a moment. When that happens you've got to be the one to pick yourself up, brush off the dust, and forge onward. It may be in your own way and in your own time, but regardless, it can only be a forward direction in which you move.

This isn't to say that being alone for your entire life is the way to go. Sometimes in life you will find people who accept and appreciate your weirdness, even if they don't really understand it. These are good people. And then occasionally, you may be so lucky as to find an individual who not only completely gets your weirdness, but adds their own flavor into the mix by playing along and encouraging you to achieve your full potential of anti-mediocrity. They don't dismiss your weirdness; they laugh and say something equally weird back to you. If you come across someone like this, I implore you to never take them for granted because they are probably the best kind of person you'll ever find. These sorts of people are the closest you will ever get to finding a "soulmate" if such things exist. 

I guess this did morph into some sort of preachy-rant/self-motivational-pep-talk...thing. I think I will post it to my blog, though. Maybe my unorganized ramblings make sense to somebody out there and it could help them think about these issues. And maybe I shouldn't be afraid of putting my thoughts out there; after all, I should practice what I preach, yeah? So if you read all the way through this, thank you. I truly appreciate your time and energy. And even if you didn't read it you won't see this but you're still valid and I still appreciate you.

Bottom line: accept yourself for who you are. Maybe even love yourself while you're at it. Think before you do or say something: is it really what you believe? Is this really what will help you be your best you? And if you're like me: does it aid in your lifelong mission to be anti-mediocre?

Be your truest, best self. You deserve to like what you like, say what you want to say, believe what you want to believe. Live how you want to live, and if you can't do that yet, work at it until you can. Don't lie to yourself because if you do, then who will be the one to speak your truth?

Until next time!

~ JP

Life after studying abroad

I've been back from Australia for nearly a month now. It feels strange when I think about it. The memories are still fairly fresh, the connections I made still strong, and yet it all seems so far away. Perhaps it is because I know there's no going back. Sure, I can see my friends again someday, and I can visit Perth again in the future, but there is no going back to the life that I had there for those five months; the same people won't be there, I'll never be there under the same circumstances again, and the relationships I had with people have been forever changed. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just how it is. We've gone from "irl" to virtual, and that really changes dynamics in a relationship. However, just because you're not physically together anymore and the contact you have with each other is primarily over the phone/internet, it doesn't mean it's not real. Because it was real at some point and if you choose for it to be so, it can continue to be a real friendship, a real connection. Maybe I'm the only one who has a hard time grasping that, but reminding myself every so often makes it easier to be away from the people I grew so close to while abroad. For indeed, it has been hard!

So what have I been up to since I've been home? For the most part, I've been unwinding at home, processing through the times I've had and going through pictures. I started driving again after a whopping two years of not being behind the wheel, and I've picked it up again very quickly and rediscovered the freedom and joy of coasting along while listening to some good music in the car. I've spent pretty much every weekend so far camping with my parents. I went through a few days where I was very sad about not being in Australia, so I made myself busy by doing a huge purge of my bedroom and throwing out a lot of old stuff that I don't use anymore. Let me tell you, it was therapeutic. 

Last week I had the privilege of being a mentor for the Washington Aerospace Scholars residency, which is phase two of a two-part program for high school juniors to learn about aerospace engineering. It provides great experience and provides amazing opportunities to learn about the industry, explore career options, and build valuable study skills, teamwork skills, and lots of fun. The first part is an online class during the school year, so the program isn't just about fun; it's hard work. As an alum, I was really excited to act as a mentor to this year's students, giving them pointers and insights during their project work over the course of the residency week. It was interesting to be on the other side of the action, so to speak, because I felt as though I was dead weight on the team by not helping with the workload; then I realized I wasn't actually a member of the team and that my job was to supervise their work, not actually do any of it! Still, I was proud of my team as I watched them go through what I did a few years ago, with grace and some tiny freak-out sessions during which there was some yelling and frantic arm-waving. But that's all part and parcel!

Some pictures of the places I've been to the past few weeks:

Deception Pass

 Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest

Birch Bay

Grayland beach area

Westport

 Hurricane Ridge, Olympic National Park

 Cape Flattery, Neah Bay

Cape Flattery is the northwestern-most point of the continental United States.
In this picture I'm sitting right on the edge of the country, looking out
at the Pacific Ocean at the rest of the world

That's all I've got for now, so until next time!

~ JP

New Zealand in a nutshell...or a video

Hey look! Here's a video documenting my time in Enzed (that's NZ): CLICK FOR YOUTUBE VIDEO

New Zealand was a lot of fun, and it's the first and only big trip I've ever planned and carried out all on my own without my parents or other facilitators. I'm really proud of the research I did beforehand, and it definitely taught me that there is value in planning. I'm not one to just wing things, even though in some cases that may be more fun/feasible.
It was also a great way for me to get a little taste of a different culture and different people, and I was able to compare to both Perth and the US and gain an even more well-informed perspective.
People have asked me what my favorite part of the trip was. I always give a really annoying answer by saying I can't choose a favorite; all parts were good. The Auckland War Memorial Museum particularly resonated with me, though. It was very well-designed, extremely educational, and had neat stuff. It took a few hours to get through, and could've taken even longer had my traveling companion Cara and I chosen to, but we made that stop during our Coast-to-Coast walk, and we wanted to finish the trek before it got too late.

The first full day in NZ, we went to the Waitomo glowworm caves. No cameras were allowed inside so I didn't get to take pictures, but I don't think it would've done the glowworms justice. We went on a boat tour within the caves where we just floated around in the pitch dark, the only light source being the bioluminescent little blue worms spattered all over the cave ceiling and walls. It was surreal and I remember just staring up in dazed awe at how beautiful it was; it felt nearly like I was floating in space staring at stars. Waitomo was about a 2-3 hour drive out from Auckland and the tour bus driver gave commentary as he drove us, so it was really nice seeing the scenery and little towns that we passed along the way.

As for the Coast-to-Coast walk, I highly recommend it to anybody in Auckland who has a day to kill! And your feet, because we took 9 hours to do it including going into the museum and also eating lunch. After the walk, my feet were equal parts in agony and numbness and were tingling for about the last 2 hours of the walk. Regardless, the walk was fantastic as it took us through many of the iconic spots in Auckland: Mt. Eden, One Tree Hill, the museum, the ferry wharf, a couple of parks, and was just a really good way to get to know the different aspects of the city. As with all things, it's what you make of it, and the walkway has a specific path to follow but you can stop whenever you want or make detours, so you can really make it your own adventure.

Aside from that, we went ziplining at Waiheke Island, which is a lovely place to visit in itself and I think I would've liked to spend the night there to explore more of it. There is a small village with cute shops and food joints, and the beaches along the island are beautiful as well as the forested areas. I got a pretty good view by ziplining, and the company which I did this through, EcoZip, is a not-for-profit organization which uses revenue to preserve the bit of rainforest on its campus and provide educational and fun experiences for visitors. As someone who had been in a nature-based tourism class and was learning about ecotourism and how to conduct it sustainably and effectively, I can tell you EcoZip is doing it right! (I'm not being sponsored or paid, I really genuinely believe this).

We also did a "Bush and Beach Wilderness Tour" which took us from Auckland city central to the Waitakere Ranges Regional Park, where we saw ancient Kauri trees in the rainforest, a black-sand volcanic beach at Piha, the Karekare falls, and learned a lot about the plant life of New Zealand.

Then we visited Rangitoto Island, which was covered in dark volcanic rock which we hiked through and climbed over and under. My favorite part of this was going through the lava caves, which were honestly a little bit creepy at first, but also very neat. It was pitch black down there and I was glad I brought a flashlight because my phone flashlight didn't feel like enough for me. After the caves, we made the long and arduous hike up to the summit where we had lunch and looked out at Auckland across the water. So many beautiful views.

Anyway, I told myself I wasn't going to be able to say much, but here we are yet again... watch the video for visuals!

Until next time,

~ JP

From home to home

In case you're wondering, yes I went to New Zealand a couple weeks ago, and yes I will post about it! Final exams and spending time with my friends before we all leave Australia have been the priority the past couple weeks, so I will make the NZ post once I'm home.
Yes, that's right, it's nearly time to go home.

Before I arrived in Australia, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I remember sitting in the car on the way to the airport thinking about what the next few months would be like. Not for the first time in my life, I was at a complete loss. I'd felt this way before my first flight to Wisconsin to begin my university career: full of anticipation, curious, a little scared, mostly excited. Except this time I was headed toward an entirely different country with different people from all different cultures and world perspectives.
When I landed in Perth and was in the car to my cousin's house, I was struck by the strange vegetation, and I was terrified when we veered left at a roundabout for the first time.
When I arrived at Murdoch in the student village, I anxiously paced around my room because I had no phone and no wifi connection and knew nobody in my flat and wondered if I'd ever feel comfortable in this strange new place where I didn't have any friends.
The first few weeks I felt very alone and a little confused and lost about everything because it was all so much to adapt to all of a sudden.

For that first while, I didn't know that I would meet the most amazing, unique, fun, wonderful people from many different states and countries. I didn't know I would come to love so much about the culture and landscape here. I didn't know how much perspective I would gain about the environment and how we use it. I didn't know I would learn the things I have come to realize about myself as a person, and I certainly would not have been able to guess how much potential for change within myself that I had.

Tomorrow I'm leaving the student village, and on Monday night I will depart Perth. I do not know when I'll ever get the chance to come back, but I know I would like to one day and definitely will return. Perth is so vastly different from every other place in the world I have been, and yet it has become familiar to me in the past few months. It has become home.
I've been thinking recently about how home isn't just one thing, one specific place, to anybody. Sure, you live in a house, but your home can be anything. It could be the house or apartment you sleep at every night, it could be where your family is, it could be a person or group of friends, or it could be a place you've explored and feel some sense of familiarity, some comfort.
That's all that it is: a space in the world where you feel like you belong. I never thought I would make a home for myself here. Of course I figured I'd grow to like it, but here in Perth I have created a little niche in the big big world for myself, with the friends I have met and grown to love. I've become a local.

These past few weeks have been especially difficult for me as I've come to terms with the fact that I'm leaving my newfound home soon. As I've mentioned before, Perth is a relatively laid-back place where the people are all about "no worries" and taking things as they come. I have not had much anxiety while I've been here, and I have gotten along on friendly terms with many more people than I have anywhere else. The university life is much more lenient than that at UW-Madison or anywhere in the States, I think, and yet it's all about what you choose to put into the class that determines your final grades. There's something here for everybody, whether you like the city area or if you prefer the outdoors or the beach bum life. You can live a quiet life or you can go out for the nightlife. There's not very much pressure to be better than everybody else; it's more about egalitarianism. You can go for weeks here without hugely bad things happening on the news, and most of the bad news I ever got was related to America or other countries.
Apart from the place itself, the people I've met here are the hardest to let go of. Maybe it's been a combination of my evolving personality and the open friendliness of the area itself, but I have made more friends here than I ever expected I would. We have grown close through shared travel experiences, similar interests and personalities and senses of humor, mutual quirkiness, tough school assignments and annoying lecturers, and most importantly lots and lots (and lots) of laughter together. And now it's time to march forth as we all part ways and continue on with our separate lives.

Or maybe our lives won't be as separate as we think. I know I may never see or talk to some people again. Others I may speak to a couple times over the internet, and then we'll drift apart. And with some I may visit them or they'll visit me, and we'll keep talking over the internet and phone and stay updated on each other's lives and maintain our lifelong friendships. It won't be quite the same as it's been here, but that's okay.

I take comfort in the fact that I made these beautiful memories and shared bonds, and I will never forget the people I've had the honor and privilege of spending time with here. After all, I could not possibly forget laughing until I was literally on the floor; getting lost with while trying to navigate around a new place; making granola balls in my room and spilling honey and muesli all over the floor; snorkeling and learning how to swim for the first time; eating more Aussie sweets and snacks than can probably be deemed healthy; convincing each other to buy stuff we didn't need; grocery shopping and struggling to carry it all back home; lying in bed and listening to music for hours and just talking; trekking across an entire country; convincing somebody to drive us to McDonald's at 1am; eating meals together and talking for hours; watching ridiculous YouTube videos together; whizzing through the streets of Perth on a motorcycle; riding the bus and train and arguing about the best routes; yelling in frustration when the bus was late; agonizing over a ridiculous midterm; bothering and perplexing Paul in the CIEE office; getting hit on by a stranger in the Perth Underground; falling/slipping humiliatingly on the ground (numerous times); living in the same flat and getting up to the most normal yet strange shenanigans; walking along the beach side by side; seeing the sunset while eating biscuits; learning and imitating Australian accents and phrases; having inside jokes that nobody else will really understand; and exploring an entirely new frontier, whether that frontier be ourselves as people or an entirely different culture.

It is because I know the time I spent in Australia was valuable and full of fun and laughter and love that I am able to leave without any regrets. I am deeply sad to go, but that sadness will dissipate and fade to a dull occasional feeling of homesickness once in a while, and I know I can manage that just fine. Because indeed, this is home to me now, and I think it's a beautiful thing that I'm traveling from one home to another, and that this isn't goodbye. It's just a "see ya later." We're lucky to live in a world that's growing increasingly smaller, and I'm honored to have been a part of making the world smaller these past few months through the connections I've made.

If anybody else is reading this who feels sad about the end of the semester as well, I wrote a little poem that I think is very appropriate and I hope you take comfort from it as I did when I first wrote it:

Clouds hang like marionettes in the sky

A well-behaved flock in a pasture of blue 

Now I want to assure myself as well as you

That this is not goodbye.

This will not be our last laugh

These need not be our final words 

This must not be a time to cry

For this is not goodbye.

The clouds go away and so must I

Off to better (or worse) times they fly

We never know what the skies ahead bring

But fear not, grieve not, for this is not goodbye.

So, to my dear friends who are going home like me, safe travels and I wish you all the best as we carry on in our lives. To the friends staying in Australia, I hope to one day visit again and I hope you may get to visit the U.S. too. And to everybody that I love, thank you for being in my life and for helping me to live the best possible life. I will forever cherish the good times we've had Down Under and look forward to more good times in the future.

Until next time!

~ JP

She's alive!

*peeks out from behind a shadowy corner*
Hi....so I haven't blogged in a while, oops...things have been very hectic and my mind has been scattered all over and lots of stuff has occurred since I last posted. Like, a LOT of stuff. I won't go into too much detail but despite the stress of exams and the impending knowledge that I have to leave Australia in a month, this lovely month of May has been fantastic. I've had many laughs, lots of good memories made with my friends, and have felt more settled and happy than I ever have here, so that's a good reason for forgetting to blog, right? (...right?)
I'm typing this as I wait to go to the airport. That's right, I said airport...I'm going to Auckland, New Zealand for the week to see what there is to see! It's our third and final study break before exam period officially starts on Saturday, 10 June. I'm a bit apprehensive for my final exams because for a couple of them it seems all we can really do to prepare is know everything. For Nature-Based Tourism, I think I've got a pretty good grasp on the exam since it's really just going to consist of some of the study questions we've had throughout the semester to think about. For Water & Earth Science and Spies, it seems like the exams are sort of free-for-all, where everything is fair game. This gives me anxiety because that means I can't really have a clue on what to prepare for specifically. However, I have confidence that I will do okay on them, especially since the grading system here is different than back home.
So far, I've done very well in Spies and Nature-Based Tourism, because for the last few big projects/tests in those two classes, I've scored HDs (High Distinction: A) and a D (Distinction: AB or A-). For the other two classes I haven't gotten enough grades back yet to determine whether I'm actually doing well, but I'm not failing and that's all that matters at this point, right? *insert grimace here*
Aside from academics, I've been having a beautiful and wonderful time. I've really found good people who I have lots of fun and many, many (many many many...you get the point) laughs with. It's such an amazing experience to be able to connect with certain people such that you can truly be yourself around them. Maybe that shows my growth as a person; I've put myself out there a lot this semester and tried new things, let myself feel uncomfortable, and figured out more about myself as an individual. I think this has really helped me feel more at ease around the friends I've made these past few months. As someone's told me, my own confidence in my personality acts as a filter so that I only have to spend time with the people I actually care about and who make me feel good about myself. I don't have to waste my time and energy around the things I don't like or care for. And being able to recognize this fact has been pretty eye-opening and I find I can be more outgoing and accessible to people. I'm still introverted, but now I'm way more confident in what I am.
That being said, I will miss the friends I have made here a lot. It's the home stretch, I've already had to say "see ya later" to a few friends who are leaving earlier, and though I know I should be appreciating and enjoying the time I still have here (and I certainly am), I still can't ignore the fact that my time in Australia for the semester is nearly at an end, and I'll have to leave behind the little niche in the world I have made for myself here, and part ways with some of the people who have become intensely dear to me. It's sad when I put it that way, but as the saying goes, we should be happy that it happened. Stay strong, June!

Okay, now that I've temporarily made myself and all the people reading this really sad, I'll get to actually talking about some stuff I've been doing. I'm running out of time and I want to post this before I leave for NZ, so let's make a list, shall we?

• went mountain biking in Jarrahdale (not actually at a mountain, but same concept). It was about a half-hour drive from Murdoch, and this was the first time I'd ever done off-road biking so I was a little freaked out. Fortunately I was in good hands because my friend who I went with is quite experienced and showed me the ropes. I only fell a few times, and only managed to get away with a few bruises (to my body and ego).

it was a lot more tricky than it looks it this picture, I swear!

• went to Yanchep National Park with my Nature-Based Tourism class, where I tried to spot koalas but they were all up in the trees. We watched a presentation on Aboriginal culture and learned about some tools and handmade items that the local Indigenous people have used. The presenter was very good, as he was informative and hilarious and did a fantastic job engaging the audience. We also got a tour of a cave there, and if you know me, you know I LOVE CAVES. Needless to say I was very excited about this.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
•  went to the Purrth Cat Cafe! All the cats were adorable and friendly and I hadn't petted a cat in months so I was very happy. I went with the person who took me mountain biking, Zee. He has officially declared himself my personal tour guide around Perth, which I am more than happy about.

•  went to the Perth zoo with CIEE! We saw many animals. Obviously. Jerry was very disappointed that we didn't get to actually see river otters, and I was disappointed that the red pandas were all up in the trees sleeping, but other than that it was a blast. The zoo was quite large so we spent a lot of time speedwalking everywhere to see what we wanted to see. Afterward, Jerry, another dear friend Jenna, and I took a ferry across the Swan River from the zoo to Elizabeth Quay in downtown Perth (a quay is like a pier, harbor, dock sort of thing. I'm just throwing synonyms at you now). Our destination was Northbridge in Perth to eat dim sum. We must have visited at an off-peak time, because there was only one cart going around, which was slightly anticlimactic because we were hoping for a smorgasbord. But dim sum is dim sum and it was still great. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
•  went to Serpentine National Park with my cousin! There was a waterfall, a dam where we had coffee at the Cafe on the Dam, and the geology there was great. It was a rather quick trip, but lovely nonetheless. The weather had been kind of sketchy a few days prior, so it was nice to have some sunshine again that day. I've been getting really cold at night, no thanks to the dinky heater in my room and the poor insulation in the buildings; the Australian winter is definitely on its way!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

There was definitely more that I've done, but I can't remember and don't have the time or attention span currently to write about it. But just know: I'm okay, I'm alive and kicking, and having a great time. Now to go spend a week adventuring in New Zealand!

Until next time!

~ JP

Espionage and late night adventures

I learn a lot of things while I'm studying. I know, shocker, right? But I don't just mean I'm learning because I'm studying; I mean when I sit down to study I get really easily distracted by my own thoughts and end up googling the most random things that pop into my head. Maybe that's a good sign because it means my brain is working. Maybe it's not so good because it means I succumb to distractions easily. Either way, while doing some reading for a class yesterday evening, I managed to come up with burning questions like "where are churros originally from?" and "how does the nickname Dick come from the name Richard?" and my personal favorite: "do all animals in Narnia talk?" which led to me reading a bunch of Wikipedia articles on Narnia which then led to me really wanting to reread all the books which then led to an article debating the order in which the series should be read, which finally led to me adding a Chronicles of Narnia boxed set to my wishlist on Amazon.com.
Also, now I'm just ranting, but have you ever thought about the fact that some animals in Narnia can talk and some can't? I thought all of them could talk and were sentient, which would naturally mean that humans would have to be vegetarians; otherwise they'd be killing and eating sentient beings and that'd just be really messed up. Heck, even natural predators would have a hard time hunting if their prey could argue and plead for mercy, right? But according to the Narnia Wiki, Aslan the lion gave all animals the choice between having the ability to talk and not being able to talk; thus, some creatures in Narnia can and some can't. This made things a little better for me, but I was still unsatisfied with the answer, and then the rational side of me came out and I remembered it's just a fantasy children's series. It's cool. It's fine.
If you're reading this right now and getting a little concerned, I'm not intoxicated or anything, I promise. I'm just really passionate about the Chronicles of Narnia. And the power of Google.

Anyway, our second out of three study breaks happened two weeks ago and I spent it frantically doing assignments. I had an online midterm for my Spies class and let me tell you, that was Stressful (so much so that it warranted a capital S)! We were given a list of nine possible essay questions a week beforehand, and then three of those would be chosen by the professor for the actual test. This is all swell and good, except for the fact that all the questions had complicated answers which required lots of research and lots of thought and lots of pain and suffering on my part. I'm not sure how many hours I put into preparing for the exam, but I can tell you that in addition to an hour or so here and there during the week, I spent the entirety of the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday before the test opened online figuring out how I would answer the questions. When I say entirety, I mean during those three days, all I did was eat, sleep, and work on the questions. But as a result I now know a lot more than I thought I ever would about espionage and intelligence operations in the 20th century. And there's still more to learn, folks!
After I took the exam, I still wasn't done with assignments. I had a Water and Earth Science lab report to do, which required lots of data and Microsoft Excel work and in summary I don't want to hear the words "sand, silt, and clay" for a loooooong time, thank you very much. I also had a short synopsis for Indigenous Sustainability, which was easy to type out since I understood the material. This is more than I can say for some others in the class, because I overheard some people talking during class who said they didn't understand the topic at all. This put me off a little bit, but confirmed what I have said before: sometimes people have a super tough time grasping certain social issues because they really have never had to think about it since it has never actually affected them directly. And that's the definition of privilege!

On Wednesday of the study break I went on a field trip to a farm kind of in the middle of nowhere (okay, to be more specific, I'm told it was near Beverley) for Water and Earth Science, where we walked around and talked about soil, soil salinity, groundwater flow, and geological landforms. It was interesting but also hot and I was exhausted by the end. My favorite part was when we got to look at the layers of soil in the ground and describe their texture. We hopped into a big trench and waddled around trying to avoid getting our shoes wet, all while doing our work. It was quite the experience.
On Thursday and Friday I had other learning sessions I had to attend for the same class, which were frustrating because all I wanted to do was be left alone to finish my assignments in peace. But eventually they ended, I finished my assignments, and I finally got my true break from studying on Friday evening, when I took the train to my cousin Laure's house, where I hadn't been in a few weeks.

I spent time with my family until Wednesday morning, because I had no class on Monday, and Tuesday was ANZAC Day, a public holiday (ANZAC = Australian & New Zealand Army Corps) which commemorates military servicepeople. During the long weekend, we visited New Norcia, which is Australia's only monastic town. It was quiet and quaint.

On Tuesday Laure and her husband Sandy hosted a family lunch party. Sandy's relatives in the area came to visit and it was very nice to talk to people over some good food. His family is Greek and a lot of them lived in South Africa before coming to Australia, so they've all got interesting experiences and perspectives that I enjoy hearing about.

The rest of the week was spent going to classes and studying (of course), and then on Saturday, Paul invited CIEE to a rugby match. We watched the Western Force play against the Johannesburg Lions. The Lions won, to Paul's disappointment. I thought the game was interesting, even though I had no clue what was happening the entire time.

After the game, I was hungry, so my friend Larissa and I decided to go into Perth city for some food (mind you, it was nearly 10pm). This is kind of when the adventures of the night really started. On the way to the train station, she tripped on the sidewalk and fell rather gracefully, in my opinion, but emerged unscathed save for some bruises on her palms. Then once we got into the Perth underground station (which is HUGE!) a man came up to us asking for directions. Here is a comprehensive transcript of the interaction for your reading pleasure:

Man: hey I'm just wondering if you could help me, I need directions.
June: I'm not sure if we can help, we're not from the area. But we'll try--
Man: oh, you're not? I'm from New Zealand, where are you from?
June: America. So what did you need directions for?
Man, to Larissa: actually I need directions to your heart. you're gorgeous.
Larissa and June, in disbelief: !?!?!?

...and then he asked if we were going out drinking. We said no and got out of there as quickly as we could. How pathetic and gross is it that this guy was walking around the train station alone late at night trying to pick up girls?

Larissa and I continued on our quest for food by walking toward Northbridge, which is the hub for nightlife in Perth city, with clubs and bars. It was a really cool experience just walking around watching people progressively and collectively get wilder and weirder as the night went on, and we ended up eating at a place called Lucky Chan's. We got to sit up on the roof of this eclectic place. They have a laundromat theme going on, and serve interesting twists on Chinese/Japanese food. They were also blasting rap and hip-hop music, which was very incongruous to the vibe the place had, yet it seemed to work with the overall feel of the place.

After having some delicious dumplings and popcorn chicken, Larissa and I headed back down onto the street and went into an Asian convenience store where we bought some sweets before exploring Northbridge. Then at around 1am we decided to call it a night and headed toward the train station, where we found out that the train wouldn't be coming for another 48 minutes; we ended up calling an Uber.

The rest of the weekend and up until now, I've pretty much been back to studying and being kinda-sorta-very stressed about impending assignments and the fact that my semester is nearly over here. But let's not dwell on that just yet...

Until next time!

~ JP

The Saucepan of Impending Doom

I said in an earlier post that I wanted to try something new, so this is a bit of a different sort of post, and it's also a tough topic for me to write about. It's hard because I'm not used to publicly talking about my vulnerabilities, and I also know it may change the way others see me. I assure you that right now I'm fine; I just thought it'd be good to write a bit about a little thing called anxiety.

The anxiety that plagues me plays a large role in how I deal with daily situations and how I interact with people. It's a constant thing and it's always there. The blessing/curse is that I have become extremely good at toughing it out even while anxious, which is why it can be classified as high-functioning anxiety, and it's also why sometimes you really can't tell if I, or others like me, am just an aloof, sometimes annoying, antisocial jerk or if we're feeling really crummy inside. 

Let's state it loud and clear: I have anxiety. I think most of it is social anxiety, because much of my distress comes from social interactions (or the thought of them) and interpersonal relationships. I want to establish now that some things I say in this post may be contradictory and confusing. Trust me, I'm confused too. But I'm really saying it how it is, and I don't think anybody could truly make sense of it all in a succinct and definitive way. The first paradox: I love who I am. I think very highly of myself. In some ways, I don't care what others think of me because as long as I know my own worth, it doesn't matter. However, I still have this desperate urge to feel liked and appreciated. This is an inherent trait in everybody, I think. Who doesn't want to feel like they're cared about?

But here's the problem: I get obsessively worried about what other people think about me, and no matter how much I try to shut up the little voice in my head, it's always there picking at every interaction I have with everybody, wondering if they like me and wondering what they think about me. It's maddening and frustrating. Obviously I'm aware of the fact that not everybody is ever going to like me as a person; that's impossible. And then, I know that even if I am likable, it still doesn't mean I'll be everybody's favorite person. And yet I still try and aspire to be, and there's that tiny annoying hopeful gremlin in my head that's like "listen, June. You gotta make sure these people think you're awesome and want to talk to you all the time! you GOTTA!" 

I realize this makes me sound desperate for emotional validation and that I sound weirdly obsessive. I know. It annoys me more than I could ever communicate.

That leads me to another thing: it's okay to feel. I'll say it again: it's okay...to feel. To just feel a certain way, to let your emotions have their way for a few minutes. I grapple with this a lot, but we have to understand that our emotions are valid. Whatever you feel is what you feel and there's no changing that. Part of the process of feeling better -  less nervous and less anxious (for the moment, that is) - is understanding your own thoughts and emotions. It's aggravating sometimes but I find that if I actually listen to my internal concerns and worries, understand the reasons for why they exist, and acknowledge their existence, I feel a little better. Sure, the problem may not be solved, but that's okay. Now at least I understand what the problem even is. I can sort through what is in my control and what isn't, and work from there. Or I can just acknowledge how I feel and leave it at that.

When it comes to all this, I'm still working on remembering that exterior validation isn't and never will be as important as the validation I can provide for myself. Does that mean I don't seek validation? Haha. No, it doesn't. I'm constantly on the fence between thinking "forget everybody else, I'm doing me and that's great!" and "maybe I'd ultimately be happier if I didn't do this or if I improved on that..." 

Another struggle I have is something I've talked about with a therapist. Yes, I went there; I started talk therapy last semester because I was overconfident and took a full 18-credit load and suddenly felt my mental health spinning out of control. I'm making a point of this because I hate the stigma that comes with mental illness and getting help with it. Mental illness is valid and real, people!! You don't have to feel sorry for me or think any differently of me because I go to a therapist to help me sort out my anxious thoughts. If you feel like you need or even just want help with mental stuff, please just go for it. You go to the doctor if you feel physically ill or break a bone, so why wouldn't you go to get help for something inhibiting your mental state from feeling better?

Anyway, back to the struggle. My social anxiety stems from my inherent longing to feel liked. My need to feel liked comes from the fact that I was kind of lonely as a little kid. I was shy, introverted, and probably had some sort of social anxiety back then too, because I tried so hard to fit in with other kids but somehow couldn't, either because I was too shy to show that I wanted their company and ended up pushing them away unintentionally, or because I simply wasn't interested in what they talked about or did. This is not to say I didn't have friends or meaningful relationships, but rather what I'm trying to say is that even with my best friends I still felt like something wasn't right. I've always had this inherent fear that suddenly my friends will decide that I'm too annoying/boring/weird/all of the above, and that they'll stop wanting to be around me. This was true back when I was a young child, and it's true now as I sit here typing this. So sometimes what may seem like nothing or an offhand, meaningless comment from someone will be overly picked part and analyzed by yours truly, all the way until I manage to somehow convince myself that all my friends actually all dislike me and only agree to speak to me because they're nice. Yeah, I know, it's very dramatic, but that's what it feels like.

So at that point I'm suspicious that nobody actually really likes me, and I'm very introverted and am usually content spending time alone anyway, so I avoid being around other people. Usually I don't like being in groups of people unless I'm very comfortable around all of them, because otherwise my shy nature causes me to be left out. And then me being left out leads to me feeling unliked, which isn't necessarily true, but my anxiety thinks it is. But then I get lonely, as one does, and seek out my friends, and then the agonizing cycle of overthinking starts again. I usually prefer spending time with just one good friend, because that's where I'm most comfortable (and where I can re-convince myself that my friendship is actually real and not something I just made up). Two's company, three's a crowd. And you wouldn't ever be able to tell all this chaos is happening unless you're really trying to read me.

With all this, then, why do I still find myself spending time in groups of people? If I am so nervous about being around people, why do I still go to social events and how in the world do I seem so composed while I'm doing presentations in front of people? If I know that I don't like being in crowded places, and that I will kick myself for saying stupid things later when I'm with friends, why do I still put myself out there? Part of it is the cycle described above that I keep getting stuck in, but part of it is my aptitude for putting things on the back burner of my mind.

I'm told that I am amazingly high-functioning despite the inner turmoil my mind is in most of the time. But I want you, as the reader, to understand that this doesn't mean the anxiety isn't there. It's always there. I like to think of it as being an annoying pot of any liquid of your choosing - actually, let's call it a saucepan (to keep things saucy, of course) - that's constantly on the stove. Sometimes it's on high heat and everything is boiling over and I feel terrible about everything and nothing can go right and my head is spinning with racing thoughts and I start feeling funny in my stomach and I don't feel like I'll ever be okay because everybody hates me and--and you get the picture.

But other times the saucepan is just on the back burner, simmering and gurgling anxious thoughts at me every so often. I can ignore those or work to reason with them as they come because it's not all that overwhelming. Due to my combined experience with this over the years, my natural inclination to just "suck it up" when it comes to my feelings, and lots of practice, I've gotten really good at turning the heat to a lower setting and shoving the hot pot aside to simmer in the back of my head. But it's always there, and it's always threatening to boil over. It's my Saucepan of Impending Doom.

Some people aren't as good as I am with tending to the Saucepan, and some are even better than I am. This is why we shouldn't ever compare different people's mental conditions, and we should never make concrete assumptions on how somebody is feeling. I may have a saucepan, but someone else may have a huge pressure cooker and somebody else might just have a tiny pot. 

I appreciate a gentle check-up every so often, especially if I seem off, but I hate when people hear that I have anxiety and immediately start treating me like an oversensitive, fragile baby or a mentally incapable person. I'm a frickin' adult, and I've been handling this on my own for years, so just treat me as you would treat anybody else. If something makes me feel uncomfortable, I've learned that I need to voice it explicitly to people who otherwise won't pick up on it. And in my experience people don't typically like to bring up matters of the mental illness variety. Hence why I'm writing about it now and hence why, if you've noticed it when you're with me in person, I speak very frankly about my mental turmoils. It's uncomfortable and it's hard, but some things are better left unsaid and some things are waaaay better when they're talked about.

While we're talking about uncomfortable things, let me talk write to you about my thoughts on mindfulness. Because I've heard that phrase way too often: "have you, you know, tried...mindfulness?"

First of all, yes, I have tried being mindful. Sometimes I think that my problem is that I'm too mindful. I'm an introvert and my specialty is being alone to think about things. I work constantly to understand myself. Many of my friends have told me I think too much and that I need to go outside and just do stuff for a change, and quit being so conscious of the entire world and overthinking everything. 

Mindfulness is about being conscious of your thoughts and feelings and being in the moment. It's about accepting things as they are, right now, right here. That's cool and all, but what I hate is when people treat mindfulness as a solution, a cure. Do you ever get this? You're stressing about something, you're complaining about your back hurting, or you've got tension headaches and that one person just comes up to you and is like, "okay, but have you tried meditation?"  

Listen up. Meditation and mindfulness are not the cure-all. It helps for some, and it doesn't for others. If it helps you, good. But it sure don't help me and my saucepan. And that's okay.

Really, it's okay. Because with all my complaining about being in emotional hell and struggling to cope with my anxiety sometimes, I always know deep down that it'll be okay. It definitely doesn't feel that way sometimes, but at the end of the day I'm still here and still pushing through. You can call it grit, resilience, or whatever you want. All I know is that this is what I live with, and it may or may not be what you have to live with, but at least now I hope you have a better understanding of my anxiety and maybe it helps you think about things a little bit differently. 

I also want to point you in the direction of a nice article I came across about coming to terms with your own thoughts and how to lessen anxiety, because to some extent everyone's got some sort of Saucepan of Impending Doom (or, if you read the article, a mammoth) in their lives. It was helpful and put things in perspective for me, and it might for you too.

Until next time!

~ JP

The kinda-sorta halfway point

Oh my gosh. It's Week 7 of the semester. There are 14 weeks in the semester, not including exams. I'm halfway finished with the semester here and I feel like I've barely learned anything in my classes! That just goes to show how not rigorous the classes here can be, doesn't it?
This isn't to say that I haven't gained new insights and perspectives from my classes, because I definitely have. What it does say is that I need to get serious about preparing for exams soon. This week is pretty much the first time I've had to hear/think about assignments and exams, which is kind of funny if you compare to back home, where everyone's constantly got homework and assignments to do. Here, I've just been completing the recommended reading every week with nothing to really hold me accountable except for my own honor (and my resulting capability to participate in class discussions).
Since I've been getting into the groove of things here, I thought it'd be a good idea to reflect on the time I've had so far. At first I was a bit lonely and lost, so it's interesting to take a step back and realize how much I've grown used to life here. I've found some friends whom I absolutely adore (if you're reading this, you know who you are) and I've gotten into a weekly routine which keeps me on top of things. I don't really struggle all that much anymore to understand Aussie accents and slang, and I've gotten used to being more relaxed (or at least I'm trying to relax). One thing I surprisingly got used to is the heat. You know how I know? Because now when it's less than 21 degrees C (that's 70 F) I get cold. That's right, COLD! I've had to break out my sweatshirts already and it's not even winter here yet. Never again will I make fun of people for being cold when it's not literally freezing out, because I'd be the biggest hypocrite.

Something I've recently thought a lot about is the culture of Aussies. I've mentioned before the Uncertainly Tolerance that Australians seem to have a high measure of. That means, very generally as a whole, they're fine with not knowing exactly what's happening or what's going to happen. Aussies are also okay, from my observations, with leaving things unsaid sometimes. At first when I got here I thought it was so nice that I never saw any racism or homophobia or anything of that sort. There are even ads I've seen often about mitigating the issue of domestic violence, and by extension, rape culture, while kids are still young, by teaching young boys to be kind and respectful to young girls. I still haven't personally seen any homophobia, thankfully, nor have I seen or heard of overt acts of racism. However, what I've noticed is that Aussies are sometimes uncomfortable with talking about issues of racism. There is a highly marginalized group here, and that's people of Aboriginal descent. Yet I barely ever see them represented anywhere, and the only place I've heard people talking about them is in my Australian Indigenous Studies class. Even then, I find some people are uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the notions of race affecting how certain people are treated. It's clear they haven't had to think about it, from the way people struggle to come up with words to the way the professor teachers us the material carefully and extra thoroughly, as if he knows people will be very confused. It's hard to describe. It's not that people here mean to be racist, but sometimes they just haven't had to think about the things I've thought about, and may not have a grasp of it. They're okay with not talking about it explicitly.
I find Americans tend to be bold, both in our actions and words at times. In the environments I'm used to, there have been more and more people willing to get out of their comfort zone to talk about issues that are important. Maybe that is a thing here too, and I just haven't found it yet.

What else have I been up to, other than studying (or trying to and getting distracted) and thinking deep thoughts that I have trouble articulating? ;)
Last Friday I went with my Nature-Based Tourism class to Penguin Island for the morning, which was pleasant. It's a little island where little penguins reside (no, I'm serious, they're really called "little penguins") and we got to see ten of them which live in the Penguin Discovery Centre. They're penguins which can't make it in the wild due to injuries or being raised by humans their whole lives, so visitors get to watch them get fed. They were really cute.

After seeing the penguins, we walked around the island on the boardwalk that lines it and saw some really neat fossilized roots.

Then we went on a short cruise in the marine reserve and followed some dolphins and saw some sea lions lounging on the beach. I was mostly intrigued by the pelicans because I don't think I've ever seen birds that big except at the zoo.

This past Saturday I hung out in Freo for a few hours with my friend Jerry who showed me some of his favorite parts of the area that he's found, and then we decided to be "spontaneous" and bought iced drinks. One of the things here that Aussies do with iced coffees, from what I've noticed, is they put a scoop of vanilla ice cream in it. Jerry, who hates coffee normally, decided to try it with a scoop of ice cream to see if he'd like it better. He didn't. To my amusement I got to watch him plug his nose as he finished his drink. Meanwhile, I got an iced chocolate, which was essentially hot cocoa but with ice and ice cream. So...chocolate milk. I honestly don't know what they put in it, but it was pretty good after I realized I had to stir it to get the chocolate flavor.

Overall, the afternoon in Freo was a nice and well-needed break from studying, and I'm very happy to have found a friend in somebody who has such a similar sense of humor as I do, so it was full of laughs!
That same day, we CIEE peeps went to a footy game! Footy, of course, is the Aussie shortcut for Australian Rules Football. It's fast-paced and features constant passing of the ball between players, and players try to make a goal by getting the ball between posts; two side spaces and a middle space. One difference I noticed is that whenever players get tackled and there's a bit of a pileup, the game sort of just continues, whereas in American football there's some kind of pause before continuing gameplay. Also in footy the players don't wear armor like in American football. People get knocked unconscious in this too, because you can try to jump to prevent others from getting the ball. And if somebody gets knocked unconscious, the game keeps going around them on the field. It doesn't ever have timeouts or pauses, ever. The only time it stops is at the end of each quarter, and honestly, I'm not even sure if there's an exact time each quarter ends, because the timer just kept going and the buzzer went off vaguely after 28 minutes from what I noticed. That's Australians and their uncertainty tolerance for you. I must say I enjoyed the game and the commentary of some rabid fans around me, but halfway through I got cold and sleepy and hungry, so it was a struggle staying focused on what was happening. Yay sports, am I right?

That's all I have for now! As a side note, my friend Rori was inspired by my blog to make her own, and her posts have lots of insights on traveling as well. She's got some really interesting ideas and isn't shy about saying it like it is, so give her blog a read if you like by clicking here!

Until next time!
~ JP